of
a Troubled Mind
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The thoughts below were
written when I was in the throes of depression and are pretty scary things.
It's amazing how something like a simple imbalance of chemicals in the brain can
cloud judgment and fill a person with such despair.
If you or someone you
know is experiencing these types of thoughts, seek help from a physician
immediately.
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I've been feeling
such a cold loneliness lately. It's like a cold winter wind has embraced
me and has chilled me to the bone. Has death already claimed my soul and my
body hasn't realized it yet? I fear my heart will never be warm again...
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So many
incoherent thoughts rushing through my head. God I wish I could turn them
off. I try to think of reasons why not...but my head fills with reason why
to...
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I
used to believe in dreams . . . then I woke up to face the cold, gray morning
of reality alone. |
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Hope
. . . please . . . Hope
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My
heart and soul are heavy with this burden of sadness I seem destined to
carry. I cry out in the night...but no one hears my pain...
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I'm
the invisible woman . . . an unperson. Not living, only existing.
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I
matter not to anyone.
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Fine
. . . I'll be fine, really.
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I
am smothering. Buried in a grave of sadness and there is no escape.
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Hell
is a hopeless place . . .my soul in torment
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I
put on a mask and outwardly pretend nothing is wrong . . . but I'm dyin' inside.
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I
want to run far away. Don't want to be me anymore. Please, don't make me
be me anymore.
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At
times, my greatest fear is me.
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Black
thoughts. Don't want to think anymore. Can't stop this vortex in my mind.
Thoughts of death, unwanted, uninvited, force their way into my consciousness.
Go away . . . go away...leave me be, I cry.
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If
I can just make it to the border . . .
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Now
I lay me down to sleep
I
pray the Lord my life to take.
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It's
okay . . . it really doesn't matter to me. I'm fine...really.
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Profound
and utter aloneness. When death answers my plea . . . will I be missed?
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No one really understands the torment of my soul. It's not life that I want to escape...but the pain I feel. I just want it to end.
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I am fading into the mist....a little more each day. One day, I will be no more. God, I only pray that where I'm going there will be no pain...no memories....only blessed forgetfulness.
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Are You Depressed?
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Causes
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Suicide Info
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Symptoms
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